Written by: Charlie Johnson
In this 5-part series, Charlie shares his experience with his mother and her journey with Alzheimer’s.
The decision was finally made to place your loved-one in a memory care community. Now what are you going to do with all your time after being his or her caregiver? Do you feel a little lost, unneeded? All that work and what do you have to show for it? Your support doesn’t stop, it just changes. Effective communication with the neighborhood and family interaction makes for the best possible experience for a memory care resident.
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The administrator had asked me not to return to visit mom for two weeks after her initial entry into the community. That was standard practice to allow new residents time to get settled into their new environment without the distraction of family and additional reminders of home.
I counted down the days, like a kid at Christmas. If she was missing me half as much as I was missing her, she must just be beside herself. When the day finally came and it was time to go see her, the thought came to me that she might be mad at me for leaving her in that strange place.
What a wonderful feeling to see my mother in the solarium participating in an activity. She was clean, wearing clean clothes, her hair was brushed, and she was smiling waiting on her turn at the beach ball. When she saw me in the doorway, she came to me, and was happy to see me. It was not like “where the hell you been” or “I’m upset with you.” We made our way to her room and sat in the sunshine for a visit.
This, I believe, was the first indication that I had the concept of time on my side. Her room had a comfortable bed with quilts from home, a comfortable chair, a south window, and a few other special items I had moved for her. Mom was settling in nicely and developing a new routine.
Mother made new friends in her new digs, but I’m guessing that if she could have told me, her favorite thing about her current home would be the food. After a few months in the community, mom got to be “fatter than a town dog.” She looked forward to every meal and never passed up a snack. She loved to go with family on outings to Sonic or Dairy Queen, followed by short drives around the countryside, but never once balked about going back to the neighborhood.
What a great move this was for my mother. She received all the attention she needed and deserved. Her physical and mental demands were met, and her personal hygiene was overseen and completed. The memory care professionals were trained to take care of whatever the progression of the disease presented.
